BOFFINS: Oxygen-free, methane-based ALIENS may EXIST on icy SATURN moon Titan [Mon Mar 2 2015]

Daily Headlines 2 March 2015

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Business News PayPal drops Mega, which drops its price to nothing in response Free storage until alternative payment source found Turnbull's model e-gov service is HIPSTER SHAMBLES UK Government Digital Service used as model for Australia's Digital Transformation office has made big mistakes Watch out hipster nerds – Granny Beskind's behind you! 91-year-old Jony Ive wannabe helps out design firm Ideo Tony Abbott says food importers deserve help denied to telcos Metadata costs to be worn by telcos, but berry importers promised relief from regulations Blurred vision: Google dreams of a campus mixing buildings with nature Woos owls in planning vows Elon Musk plans to plonk urban Hyperloop subsonic tube on California Construction to begin in 2016, apparently MEGA PATENT DUMP! Ericsson, Smartflash blitz Apple: iPhone, iPad menaced by sales block Linkfest We present all the contested patents EU governments are CRAP at cloud, moans Brussels' infosec watchdog 'Look at the UK, they've done it really well!' Uh, hold on ... He's baaack: Microsoft's axeman Nadella to give Chinese staff the chop Two more ex-Nokia factories to close next month GAMIFY your FRIDAY with our Public Sector Innovation Bingo! 'This is an agile process, meaning... er, whatever we want it to mean' BP: Oil prices crashed, so must our ICT budget Sources say suppliers to be squeezed to help save biz $300m SCC bags universal credit hosting contract DWP chucks more money at car crash of a programme Nimble revenue diet gets fibre supplement Losses are lessening, but can it get the result it wants ANOTHER shake-up at HP Enterprise Services Big Cheeses moved around Google pumps $60m into music company Kobalt Every little helps in protecting Macca's froggy royalties Ingram Micro: Damn you Europe for our ghastly margins Sales soar globally, but forex, retail PC price erosion weigh Australia to get spooks charter at cost of at least AU$188m Multi-party committee adds modest privacy enhancements to metadata retention scheme Scavengers pick bones of collapsed telly-spaff upstart Aereo Tiny rod company's assets fetch under US$2m during windup To beat Oracle, find jurors who care about Leisure Suit Larry not Larry Ellison Support upstart Rimini Street's secret allies are Nevada jurors Net neutrality: The world speaks its brains on secret 'open' 'net rules Comment Not a 'meh' in sight Data Centre News Microsoft Swarms towards Docker Machines New Xen vuln triggers Amazon, Rackspace reboot panic redux Second hypervisor-related cloud meltdown in six months Flashy upstarts facing IPO pressure. Get on with it then Comment VC sequence could end not with a bang, but a whimper Hardware News SKINNY Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge keep Samsung on the edge MWC A built-in battery? Is your name Apple? In Barcelona, no one can hear you scream ... HTC, Valve unleash Giger-inspired VR headgear MWC It doesn't look weird at all. No, really Out of time: Huawei, LG unveil watches nobody wants to buy MWC Can I borrow your charger? BOOM! MediaTek parks tanks on Qualcomm's lawn MWC Boasts big HTC win, and streaming tech W*nkers of the world unite to SAVE THE PLANET one jerk-off at a time Pornhub's new hardware seeks to pump up the power Ikea to start making electrified furniture. What could go wrong? MWC It's even mulling apps for tables and chairs Tim Cook chills the spines of swingers worldwide 'Watch will replace your car keys', Apple boss claims Guess who filed most Euro patents in 2014? Yep, still Samsung Philips and Siemens made the top 3, though Revival of fortune: Mad Catz Mojo Android gaming micro console Review Revamped firmware and a new tempting price Paranoid Android Kaymera smartmobe takes on Blackphone MWC2015 Super-secure Israeli platform only lacks Mossad bodyguard Moto E 2015: The builder's cheapie gets a serious upgrade Hands On Stock Lollipop mini-flop is only skin-deep NERDGASM as Apple announces 'special event' 'Spring Forward' says invitation to March 9th indoctrination session Networks News Telstra takes lead in 5G, just like everybody else 4G to get more stuff and more speed HTC One M9 hands on: Like a smart M8 in a sharp suit MWC If it ain't broke, just polish it gently Acer enters Windows Phone fray with cheap Liquid M220 mobe MWC Runs better than Android on same hardware, vendor claims FCC says cities should be free to run decent ISPs. And Republicans can't stand it Analysis State vs federal; corporations vs public interest Make room, Wi-Fi, Qualcomm wants to run LTE on your 5GHz band Low-power LTE-U can share spectrum with 802.11 Ministry of Fun tries again on mobile mast planning permission Want not-spots washed out? Well, we have to put 'em somewhere, NIMBYs Security News Blockheads bork Bitcoin Foundation board election As if anything could go wrong with version 0.1 blockchain voteware ... Seagate NAS owners: hide it behind a firewall. Fast. Unpatched software in the OS means root to your stuff won't be hard, says researcher BitDefender bit trip slaps 'valid' on revoked certs Patch for security suites inbound FORK ME! Uber hauls GitHub into court to find who hacked database of 50,000 drivers Taxi biz demands IP addresses and more Lenovo: We SWEAR we're done with bloatware, adware and scumware By Windows 10 launch our systems will be PURE, honest Thousands of UK drivers' details leaked through hole in parking ticket website PaymyPCN database of names, pics was open, says report NTT Com Security to wed UK cyber specialist Nebulas, say sources Everyone wants a bigger piece of the cyber security pie TalkTalk 'fesses up to MEGA data breach Noticed an increase in scamming late last year CloudFlare crypto gets faster on old mobes Choc Factory ChaCha crypto pairing gets popular Site News Reckon YOU can write better headlines than us? Great – apply within Job If you can proofread, edit and fact-check, we want to hire you El Reg regains atomic keyring capability Tritium-powered glowrings hit Cash'n'Carrion Software News Hadoop gets native C/C++ injection Big data for the non-Java generation Google open-sources HTTP/2-based RPC framework Chocolate Factory's microservices code is yours to coddle Science News Satellite cannon starts shooting Doves, this time under control ISS cubesat-launcher relaxes and gets to work NASA 'nauts complete another EPIC SPACEWALK to route cables around ISS Beefing up lab to prevent future traffic jam BOFFINS: Oxygen-free, methane-based ALIENS may EXIST on icy SATURN moon Titan 'The first concrete blueprint of life not as we know it' Churchill's blood valued at £560,000. Take that Stalin! Phial of Winnie's boozy fluid up for auction Bootnotes News Google pulls out of gaping Blogger smut black hole Monday: Get rid of this filth ... By Friday: Oh my God, where have ALL the blogs gone? RIP Leonard Nimoy: He lived long and prospered Obit We are, and always shall be, his fans

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