Soon EVERYONE will be doing it with a strap-on: The Reg's 20 festive wearables [Fri Dec 19 2014]

Daily Headlines 19 December 2014

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Business News Red Hat CFO reaches for eject cord after Street-beating performance Linux firm ups annual guidance yet again Don't panic, US Navy has only deployed a ROBOT SHARK (but where are the lasers?) Pics and video GhostSwimmer is an underwater James Bond Couch potatoes relax: Netflix scores big STREAMING TV PATENT win OpenTV not unique enough to protect, says court Google swears no search leg up for new dot-word sites: We drill into claims The weird and wacky world of SEO Apple iPhone Android Kim Kardashian 1Direction Judge bars dead Steve Jobs from appearing on TV news FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE Apple icon's deposition won't be given to the public Data Centre News Rivals feel power of EMC's storage software bite Market bounces in Q3, but somebody forgot to tell Symantec and IBM Europe rubber-stamps IBM Lufthansa outsourcing gig Nothing to see here, says EU, 'no competition worries' Toshiba joins the exclusive, three-member 6TB disk drive club Developing disk drive density mini dramarama Crossbar says it's 'one step' from delivering miracle RRAM Sneak path current snag cracked: Beyond the NAND scaling wall at last? Teradata gobbles up data squasher RainStor Fourth engulfment of 2014 brings Hadoop-y archiving Disk areal density: Not a constant, consistent platter Comment I guess you learn something new every day Tegile to shove flash into DIMMs, it would seem Flash. Surely there must be something it CAN'T do? TALE OF FAIL: Microsoft offers blow-by-blow Azure outage account Buggy software and bad deployment borked Redmond's cloud Oracle, the King of Cloud? Maybe in Ellison's world Analysis Claims that cloud will drive Oracle's future growth ring hollow Softlayer hops into Equinix's Cloud Exchange Last in, best dressed Hardware News Finally kicked that Minecraft habit? Story time! Mojang says an epic narrative-mode is in the works Soon EVERYONE will be doing it with a strap-on: The Reg's 20 festive wearables Product roundup From wristbands to smart watches Networks News Net Neut: Verizon flips the bird to FCC on peering deal crackdown You can't stop us creating web traffic fast-lanes, telco says UK.gov binds mobe operators to £5bn not-spot deal Networks agree investment for 90 per cent Blighty voice/text coverage Security News New fear: ISIS killers use 'digital AK-47' malware to hunt victims New code built in-house targets innocents fending off deranged terrorists Misfortune Cookie crumbles router security: '12 MILLION+' in hijack risk New claim: Homes, businesses menaced by vulnerable firmware Security SEE-SAW: $3 MEEELLION needed to fight a $100k hack Threat intelligence 'mostly snake oil and marketing' CoolReaper pre-installed malware creates backdoor on Chinese Androids This a lot worse than just bloatware, say analysts TorrentLocker ransomware pestilence plagues Europe, bags $500k Too many people still running random .exe files in spam attachments Social sniffer predicts which Nigerian prince has the best chance of scamming you Data matching tool will be open source, intended for good not evil Site News Last chance for Xmas Cash'n'Carrion goodies Including the yuletastic Reg-branded Piston Powerbank The Shock of The New: The Register redesign update 2 One week in, and our thoughts on your thoughts Software News Microsoft drops early Chrissie pressie on Mac Office fanbois Stocking-fillers land for Mac Outlook Banish the fear of Big Brother when you bring in BYOD The magic of MDM Android gives Google a search monopoly? Not so fast, says judge More facts needed before class-action suit can proceed Microsoft kills its Euro pane in the a**: The 'would you prefer Chrome?' window Time runs out on mandatory non-IE installation tool Untangling .NET Core: Open source for Windows, Mac, Linux Exclusive Interview More changes, but it'll be different this time, honest Fedora 21: Linux fans will LOVE it - after the install woes Review Purrs like a beauty once you get her running V. R. R. Stob's magnificent saga A Game Of Dog-and-Bones Stob GUARANTEED no elves and hardly any violence. Or incest Science News LEGS IN 2015: SpaceX Falcon's landing PUT ON HOLD Stuttering engine means staff can knock off early Friday: SpaceX will attempt to land rocket on floating, robotic 'spaceport drone ship' Hovering leggy rocket to deploy new 'X-wing' technology Bootnotes News Scrooges rejoice! Beancounters find formula for perfect Xmas party Boffins take out - then replace - Christmas fun

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