What's MISSING on Amazon Fire Phone... and why it WON'T set the world alight [Thu Nov 27 2014]

Daily Headlines 27 November 2014

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Business News Forget Hillary, HP's ex CARLY FIORINA 'wants to be next US Prez' Former CEO has political ambitions again, according to Washington DC sources Turnbull should spare us all airline-magazine-grade cloud hype Box-hugger is not a dirty word, Minister. Box-huggers make the cloud WORK Net neutrality: EU's three-headed beast now at war with itself Political bodies nowhere near a final decision Wasn't it all supposed to be so different by now, Meg? HP says fiscal '15 will be flat. Fiscal '16? Not prepared to say Samsung makes investors happy with $1bn share buyback Aiming to secure stock price stability after recent falls Musicians sue UK.gov over 'zero pay' copyright fix Everyone else in Europe compensates us - why can't you? De-linked a website, Google? Don't bother telling webmaster – EU ...but do ensure you remove it from Google.com as well Apple’s $700 BEEELLION market cap makes it more valuable than Switzerland Cuckoo clocks and cheese no match for iThings Look out: That data protection watchdog can bite Regulation set to get tougher Megaupload overlord Kim Dotcom: The US HAS RADICALISED ME! Vid Now my lawyers have bailed 'cos I'm 'OFFICIALLY' BROKE Universal Credit CRISIS: Up to £200m in IT spend WASTED – NAO Get ready for a write-off, say auditors UK.gov biz dept: Yoof APPRENTICE? Get a degree while YOU'RE HIRED Save your parents a fortune Calls for probe of UK.gov's DOESN'T VERIFY ID service Identity system is two years late and doesn't work, says Labour As-a-service upstarts will KILL OFF THE CORPORATES? Worstall on Wednesday Um, NOT BLOODY LIKELY! Five-eyes partners dilute UN resolution criticising metadata collection We need privacy, but not too much, say US and allies How to run a big web music biz (Spotify): Grab more cash from fans, sink deeper into the red Haters gonna hate, says media upstart BT said to have pulled patent-infringing boxes from DSL network Take your license demand and stick it in your ASSIA UK cops: Give us ONE journo's phone records. Vodafone: Take the WHOLE damn database! Telco spaffed info on 1,700 staffers, watchdog says Snowden doc leak lists submarine'd cables tapped by spooks El Reg's CIRCUIT, REMEDY and GERONTIC scoop verified in list of 62 popped pipes Guess which US tech giant was just hit with a $137m tax bill in China? Was it Moracle? Moogle? Med Hat? Madobe? Macebook? Or maybe Mapple? Data Centre News AWS CloudFront wobbles at worst possible time Two-hour outage had global impact Fat upstart Nimble embiggens revenues by 77% in ONE quarter Even their losses are levelling off. You listening, NetApp? Speaking in Tech: Is OpenStack really letting the SAN shine? Podcast Live from Paris, it's our weekly techcast Inside Aurora: how disruptive is Amazon’s MySQL clone? Storage engine made for the cloud – shame it's only for MySQL Floody hell! Brits cram Internet of Things into tight White Spaces Surprising what you can do with a river and 13Mbps over old telly frequencies Hardware News Save Thanksgiving! Get your turkey to text you when it's done Okay it's $40 but what price emotional turmoil? Tesla confirms Australian launch date Will detail showroom, charging plans on December 9 BlackBerry will pay you $$$s to be its friend and dump that iPhone Hugs not included Hi-torque tank engines: EXTREME car hacking with The Register Bentley found in a hedge gets WW2 lump insertion What's MISSING on Amazon Fire Phone... and why it WON'T set the world alight Review You fought hard and you saved and earned. But all of it's going to burn... Trousers down for six of the best affordable Androids Product round-up Stylish Googlephones for not-so-deep pockets Networks News AT&T to FTC: I'd like to see YOU install 1Gbps fiber across the US. Which we're still doing Telco tells regulator to step off after demand for homework Yes, UK. Johnny Foreigner has better mobe services than you EE best of a disappointing lot Bloke fighting Facebook in court says ad network claims its users lack 'legal capacity' to sue it Austrian campaigner baffled by latest turn in privacy battle Google turns on shiny new .google top-level domain – but WHY? Just one gTLD and a redirect as ad giant readies to enter domain market NBN Co makes it official - backhaul charges will fall CVC down by 12.5 per cent as of February 2015 Security News Australia to conduct national cyber-security review Business and individual security to be tested by panel including Cisco security supremo Zero-day hacking group resorts to UNICORN SMUT-SLINGING Playboy ploy not beneath APT3 Why did it take antivirus giants YEARS to drill into super-scary Regin? Symantec responds... FYI this isn't just going to target Windows, Linux and OS X fans Privacy bods Detekt FinFisher dressed as bookmark manager Government spyware-spotting project Detekt scores in first week of release Software News Twitter App Graph exposes smartphone spyware feature You don't want everyone to compile app lists from your fondleware? BAD LUCK ASA raps 'F*CK YOU GOOGLE' vlogger + chums over VIDEO LICKFEST Paid tongue action nipped by adland watchdog Can't flog software for love nor money? UK mega-reseller Softcat probably ate your lunch UK firm hits £500m sales milestone Hey, here's some face-tracking tech from Samsung you probably won't find creepy at all It's cool! It's fine! It'll be open source, we swear, says chaebol Apple seeks patent for user-configurable progress bar Slow software will be made to 'fess up to FAILS Science News Gates Foundation to insist on Open Access science All funded research – and data - to be released under Creative Commons, say Bill and Melinda NASA 'nauts have a go on Star Trek replicator IN SPAAAAACE (sort of) Butch plasticky and the sun power plant kit UK boffins: We'll have an EMBIGGENED QUANTUM COMPUTER working in 5 YEARS Oxford boffins toil away on Q20:20 machine I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations Quick, call the Time Cops to sort out this paradox! LOHAN sponsor Lucidica explains the benefits of being French There are benefits? Mais oui, says IT support firm Bootnotes News Technology quiz reveals that nobody including quiz drafters knows anything about IT <0.5 get TRUE/FALSE answer right on Moore's Law

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