The Reg: Microsoft: Let's be clear, WE won't read your email – but the cops will [Mon Mar 31 2014]

Daily Headlines 31 March 2014

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	3 Big data security analytics techniques Applying Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done. Download here >

Business News Tesla firms hot bottoms: TITANIUM armor now bolted to Model S e-cars Modifications revealed as US safety probes clears 'leccy motor as safe Say WHAT? ATVOD claims 44k Brit primary school kids look at smut online each month Bullsh*t klaxon sounded as it admits figures can't be trusted Raised £350bn in crowdsourced funding? Tell me about it (not) Something for the Weekend, Sir? Please release me, FFS let me go Pop music, tech bubble... what could go wrong? Spotify said to be closer to IPO Fellow Swedish firm Tobii also mulling its own market debut Data Centre News Hardwired crypto certificate FAIL bricks Juniper router kit Is this the final nail in the dusty gear's coffin, wonder sysadmins VMware reveals more VSAN nodes Cisco, Dell and Fujistsu having a waft and the clock is ticking A storage press release FROM the FUTURE Storagebod Future-View, CA – March 2018 Microsoft: Let's be clear, WE won't read your email – but the cops will Redmond rewrites T&Cs AGAIN – and taps up privacy warriors for help App-happy cloud bod? You'd better keep eyes on your networks Network performance monitoring: getting more difficult... and MORE important Soft, hard, lightly hosted? Make the right call when you choose a PBX system Cloudy phone systems get down to business VDI a 'delightful' experience... Really? GPU Technology Conference GPU devs at Silicon Valley shocked to their, er, cores in GTC session Put a 4K in it: Quantum soups up StorNext bundles for Pros For the high-def era Microsoft Australia blows own deadline for online Office 365 sales Microsoft Online Portal development seems to have gone off the rails Hardware News BlackBerry revenue slips below $1bn as users shun BB10 Chen plots return to keyboard-phones to woo back corporates Play Mario using just your EYES as Google Glass gets JavaScript Video Someone jostling you in the train? No problem Little pink handjob: Sony's Xperia Z1 Compact Review Sometimes size really doesn’t matter Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough If they're chock-full of Blighty culture, you'll get 'relief' – EU Hot, young under-25s: Lonely slab strokers who shun TV Gen Y don't you switch off the telly, we're on the interwebs iFixit boss: Apple has 'done everything it can to put repair guys out of business' New plan to make fixing iOS gadgets easier and rewarding Networks News Range Networks unleashes rewritten OpenBTS Time for open source mobile network software outfit to act like 'a real company' says CEO Zuck: Web drones, not balloons (cough, cough Google) are way forward Facebook's boywonder dismisses rival's Loon balloons as loony baloney Live in the middle of nowhere? CONGRATS. Some of you can pay EE for 4G High speed mobile coverage rollout continues Top three mobile application threats Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk. Download here > Policy News Australia's opposition backs warrantless metadata collection MORE data, more often, so spooks know which haystacks to look in Silicon Valley wage collusion case will go to court Judge Koh smacks down Google, Intel, Apple and Adobe Judge rules Baidu political censorship was an editorial right Search engine results get freedom of speech protection in the US No, Minister. You CAN'T de-Kindle your eBooks! Or can you? Confusion reigns as gov bungles copyright proposals Google 'Transparency Report' shows rise in government groping UK request numbers and success rates on a roller coaster YouTube follows Twitter onto Turkey's block list Government pushes for ban after 'villanous' audio clip appears Bitcoin bloodbath as China shutters all trading sites Cash will soon be the only way to pay for crypto-currency China's rare earth supply crimp plan ruled to be illegal Europe, USA and Japan will dig this World Trade Organisation ruling Security News Mt Gox staff tried to warn CEO of Bitcoin loss risks – reports Fears over 'customer funds covering operating costs' says Reuters Google researcher says government hack attacks on journos on the rise Everyone's a target, it seems 'I like big butts and I cannot lie, hackers take Pinterest on a joyride' NSFWish So spammers say you're fat, well, we ain't down with that ICO plugs XSS vuln in its website. Only took watchdog FIVE YEARS 'Nonchalant attitude' shocks me, says blogger Software News An AI that mimics our neocortex is taking on the neural networks – and this is how it'll do it Feature Palm founder Jeff Hawkins on his life's work to El Reg FTC: Do SSL properly or we'll shove a microscope up you for decades Will you do a Fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me Amazon Workspaces: A dish best served later Review Ctrl-Alt-Del across the miles Sticky Tahr-fy pudding: Ubuntu 14.04 is slickest Linux desktop ever Review Wait, Canonical actually listened to us? 'I will not work with Facebook... they seem creepy to me' Quotw Plus: 'I always felt that PC World had acted disgracefully towards me, and I've been proved right' Microsoft's ALREADY telling of bugs in Fondle-Office for iPad Workarounds needed to access documents stored in SharePoint 2010 Science News Watch your brain LIVE in 3D, then train your mind from inside it GTC Computer gaming revitalizes thinking – comprendo, old farts? Dutch doctors replace woman's skull with 3D-printed plastic copy Graphic video Modern tech solves brain ache Homeopathic remedies contaminated with REAL medicine get recalled Those allergic to penicillin* should steer clear LOHAN preps Vulture 2 for hot vinyl wrap Cue bloody enormous packing case, epic sea journey... 3 Big data security analytics techniques Applying Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done. Download here >

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