The Reg: iPad Air STRIPPED NAKED, reveals she's a high maintenance lady [Mon Nov 4 2013]

Daily Headlines 4 November 2013

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	ioControl - hybrid storage performance leadership Tolly evaluates the performance of ioControl against conventional hybrid storage to find ioControl provided up to 700% better performance in block level access tests. Download here >

Business News Alca-Lu posts loss, share price rises Not as horrible as it might have been Microsoft founder Paul Allen's money man wants Redmond to break up Investor calls for two CEOs, exile for XBOX and bin for Bing Ding-dong! Who's at the door now with a big wad of cash, BlackBerry? Embattled mobile firm given an offer it could probably refuse Moody's eyes up Sony's debt: Hmm... junk? Bam! Shares drop 11% Drastic cut in full-year profit forecast prompts ratings agency review Murdoch: I'm a Jawbone fanboi - and it's going to help me live to 100! Connect my blood to the internet, Smithers, leers media baron Channel News Dip in Blighty's titsup tech firms... but what about the ZOMBIES? Reseller failures stabilise but as recession lifts, a shuffling and a moaning is heard RM CEO: We didn't even try to sell PC biz before killing it 'Would have been no interest... buyers weren't plentiful' Data Centre News Want a unified data centre? Don't forget to defrag the admins And make sure you untick the 'wally' box The unsung heroes of the networking team: Who appreciates you? Survey time Take five minutes and tell us what's stressing your network HP wants to help you mount a Moonshot ARM TechCon Whitman & Co. offer rides on their hyperscale server iron NetApp chucks sueball at upstart rival Nimble Storage, former staffers Alleges employees and IP were snatched Mixed tape: Overland Storage buys Tandberg Data in CASH-FREE transaction $42m price tag - but Overland's had to pay completely in stock Number-crunching quant cooks up gambling machine, promises untold RICHES HPC blog Can 50,000 match simulations turn you into a winner? Salesforce dooms do.com, just can't do Do.com Productivity service shuts down in January 2014 BOFH: Is WHAT 'running slow'!? GOD Episode 9 'The internet' does NOT live in your BROWSER <Red mist descending> Mellanox bakes self into OpenStack, hopes world+dog bytes 'OpenStack Neck Beards and Suits Unite' in Honkers next week Hardware News Here's what YOU WON'T be able to do with your PlayStation 4 CDs? MP3s? Forget that, just stream from Sony iPad Air STRIPPED NAKED, reveals she's a high maintenance lady Teardown Apple slab twice as repairable as Microsoft's Surface 2 tab Google and Samsung bare teeth in battle for LANDFILL ANDROID™ Analysis 'Droid 'friends' scrap while Apple chuckles away Dead PC market? In the UK? NEVER Customers lined up with cash in hand... no not fanbois, real punters Have you reinstalled Windows yet? No, I just want to PRINT THIS DAMN PAGE Something for the Weekend, Sir? It's the only language they understand! iPad Air not very hot: Apple fanbois SHUN London fondleslab launch Peak Apple Latest tab selling like cold, unattractive cakes on Day One in Blighty Apple: SCREW YOU, BRITS ... no unlocked iPhones for you Tech Data to flog SIM-lock-free mobes in Europe but not Blighty Japanese boffins make a splash with bath-based touchscreen Break the water's surface with something round to create stimulus Apple Store workers' inner journey revealed Video Fanboi frenzy cools at Oz iPad Air launch Networks News Pacnet to beta colossal OpenFlow-powered Asian WAN: reports Self-provisioned telecomms net to match the cloud Australia's proto-NBN now decaying in the desert The Reg tracks the Overland Telegraph and its coaxial and microwave heirs 'It's a joke!' ... Bill Gates slams Mark Zuckerberg's web-for-the-poor dream Old dog slaps down young pup Forrester to Facebook: you're SHALLOW and a BAD FRIEND Also a BIG DATA DUNCE who tells fat fibs to ad-slingers … bitch ioControl - hybrid storage performance leadership Tolly evaluates the performance of ioControl against conventional hybrid storage to find ioControl provided up to 700% better performance in block level access tests. Download here > Policy News Off your bikie laws: Anonymous to Queensland Premier Newman Online threat, real-world d0x ... and it makes a nice change from website defacing Malcolm Turnbull throws a bone to FTTP boosters Mal the Builder expresses a certain fondness for fibre in TV interview John Kerry bombshell: 'Yes, the NSA... reached TOO FAR, inappropriately' But the US Secretary of State remains defiant amid global surveillance outrage Dying HealthCare.gov bagged JUST SIX registrations on first day Reports detail startup disaster of Obamacare portal ALL OUT PATENT WAR: Apple, Microsoft attack Google, Samsung, Huawei 'Rockstar five' unleash Nortel sueball strike on foes UK.gov forks out £250k to rescue EROTIC novelists and pals from PIRATES And they're not even British smut-peddlers Turnbull to NBN contractors: Dance, baby, dance! Minister wants Visionstream to work faster before he'll bargain for better pay Anonymous hacked off with Singapore's menacing net rules plan Hacktivist attacks The Straits Times for 'misleading the people' Commies copying West again as Vietnam plans own Silicon Valley At least they didn't go with 'Digital Mekong' or something even lamer Security News Crypto boffins propose replacing certification authorities with ... Bitcoin? Goodbye centralised control, hello 'Decentralised Direct Anonymous Attestation' Google teaches Chrome Canary to sing when it sniffs dodgy downloads Bleeding-edge browser shoots down malware on sightsmell Indestructible, badass rootkit BadBIOS: Is this tech world's Loch Ness Monster? VOTE NOW Poll Amazing claims of MRSA-like super-malware scrutinised Snowden leaks latest: BT, Vodafone, Verizon jack GCHQ into undersea fiber We're just following the law, say telcos A post-Snowden US had better not SQUEAL about Chinese cyber-spying RSA Europe 2013 Some countries spy. Get over it, says ex-Marine Snowden: Oh, PLEASE let me come to Germany and help Merkel with her phone It's bloody freezing here on this Siberian helldesk Software News Locked-up crims write prison software that puts squeeze on grub supplier What language did they use ... Ruby behind bars? Adobe exec puffs cloud shop: Online features are so 'compelling'... What are they again? CS6 is getting long in the tooth. Soon they will all inhale cloud... 'It seems that the OSes and devices are based on the Devil' Quotw Plus: 'So far, two staffers have complained of the cat urine smell' Fed up with Windows? Linux too easy? Get weird, go ALTERNATIVE Something really different to broaden your worldview Science News SR-71 Blackbird follow-up: A new TERRIFYING Mach 6 spy-drone bomber Pics Robot SR-72 fast enough to encircle Earth in less than six hours Could Doctor Who really bump into human space dwellers? Dr Who @ 50 There are a few things we'll need to sort out first Fiery bits of Euro satellite to rain down on Earth this weekend No one knows where... BETHLEHEM-grade SUPERNOVA possible 'within 50 years' Pontiff-verified; but the Three Kings will need IR goggles this time Need an internet antidote? Try magic mushrooms Picture special Reg hack goes in search of the elusive food of emperors Milky Way 'POPS PILLS and SNORTS GAS', insist boffins Astro-experts peer into our galactic party town's Smith Cloud Mars defends: HUMANS to SEND UFO to Red Planet by 2016 Foundation seeks flingable, concept-proving 'small craft' Bootnotes News Google barge erection hypegasm latest - What's in the box? Shiny showroom and party boat, according to fresh rumors ioControl - hybrid storage performance leadership Tolly evaluates the performance of ioControl against conventional hybrid storage to find ioControl provided up to 700% better performance in block level access tests. Download here >

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