The Reg: Wozniak: Please, whatever you do, DON'T buy me an iPad Air [Fri Oct 25 2013]

Daily Headlines 25 October 2013

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Business News Ballmer's off, Surface RT slabs selling, profit up ... Microsoft sighs with relief Windows sales shrunk, but just a little Confusing, only good for celebs ... But Twitter now says it's worth $12bn Chief twits suggest $17 to $20 per share for loss-making IPO-hungry social network Amazon: Wow, look at this $17bn we made. Uh, oh wait, it's gone already 'Foreign exchange rates' blamed this time for $25m loss in Q3 Carl Icahn broadcasts his $150bn Apple shakedown effort to world+dog Memo disses Cook & Co.'s 'lack of expertise' in financial matters, extols own success Google hurls promise of 'no big banner ads' in the bin. Don't Be Evil next? Hey publishers, we're not just going to scrape your content! We want your lunch too Wanna buy some patents? HP might sell a few soon - reports WebOS portfolio rumoured to be up for grabs Oracle has swallowed BigMachines, but does Salesforce look queasy? Price'n'quote software 'an important addition' to Ellison's cloudy services HP: Yes, we plan to axe another 7,100 European staffers Exclusive 'If I were leaving school today would I be interested in making IT my future?' Profitless scrapbooking site Pinterest adds over $1bn to its book value Latest funding round pegs moneyless firm's worth at $3.8bn AT&T bags 363,000 new customers ... where did THEY come from? Profit, revenue etc all on the way up – but someone's losing Channel News Cost slashing and biz tweaking lift Avnet from its doldrums Enterprise tech sector 'still challenging' in fiscal Q1 but getting better Capita splashes £57.5m on Eye-of-Sauron car-park watchdog biz Beware doggers, fare dodgers and fly tippers They've taken my storage hostage ... now what? Sysadmin blog How one user device nearly brought down the business Selling EMC kit? What you need to know about 2014 programme refresh Canalys Channels Forum Farewell 'Velocity', hello 'EMC Business Partner' Data Centre News ARM cores leg it into body of Big Blue, rub shoulders with Power network chips British Cortexes licensed to thrill communications silicon Amazon's cloud cash pile dwarfs Microsoft and Rackspace's best efforts You just won't believe how many people love Jeff's Virtualization Palace Intel: Our first five parallel-computing schools are open for business Boffins primed to make new programmers think less sequentially Tracing the direction of data centre travel Interview Traffic management Watch out EMC and vendor pals, Cisco's set to flog you with Whiptail Blocks and Files Just a UCS booster? Pull the other one, says Reg storage man LinkedIn: Obviously biz people DON'T use MS Exchange servers. REALLY? Maybe when finding a new job using non-work kit ... Hardware News Apple CEO Tim Cook doffs gloves, Microsoft spouts a nosebleed Comment Cupertino supremo gets snarky – is he pugnacious or defensive? TWO THIRDS of Retina iPad mini shoppers will weep this holiday season Report: Asian supply problems to crimp Cook & Co.'s cash flow Open-source hardware hacking effort 'smacked down' by USB overlords Cough up $$$$s like the big boys for your ID codes Microsoft: You've got it all WRONG. It's Apple's iPad playing catch-up with our Surface Corporate chap bemoans Cupertino's 'reality distortion field' Samsung GROVELS ABJECTLY to Chinese state media It's 'CCTV', but not as you know it Wozniak: Please, whatever you do, DON'T buy me an iPad Air Apps World Apple founder on how he told his wife to change Santa's list Smartwatch deathmatch: Rivals battle for total ARM DOMINATION Canalys Channels Forum Heads, shoulders, knees and toes safe... for now Surface 2 and iPad Air: Prepare to meet YOUR DOOM under a 'Landfill Android' AVALANCHE Analysis Viral beats the luxury touch at Christmas Phantom Flan flinger: The story of the Elan Enterprise 128 Archaeologic DCP, Samurai, Oscar, Elan, Flan, Enterprise - the micro with six monikers Boffins hide supercapacitors on silicon chips We don't need no STEEENKING BATTERIES Networks News Call me maybe: Orange loses a segment as competition bites We can't compete with free... and no one's making proper phone calls anymore Locked into fixed-term mobile contract with variable prices? Not on our watch – Ofcom Now you can walk, says watchdog BT's mobe interference claim laughed off air by ad watchdog Telco slapped for misleading customers over mobiles, radio Policy News Samsung cops $340,000 fine for hiring trolls to TRASH-TALK HTC mobes Tells Taiwanese regulators it's very, very sorry Coalition to keep Digital Technologies curriculum Kiddy coding classes remain on the Australian agenda Euro Parliament axes data sharing with US – the NSA swiped the bytes anyway Hacking claims now probed by Continent's cops Apple's 'princess hacker' really needs to stay away from Idaho cops Luckily 'Call yourself a hacker' ruling doesn't apply in California Apple bats away WiLAN cellular data patents sueball Fruity firm wins case that Dell, HP, HTC and others settled Obama to Merkel: No Americans are listening to you on this call Nor will we listen to you in future, on this Anonymous and pals gather in support of girl at centre of rape case Hundreds turn out after 'Justice for Daisy' social media storm Beyond the Great Firewall: China's global censorship campaign Web blocks, DoS, phishing the price hacks pay for negative China stories Security News Naughty Flash Player BURIED alive in OS X Mavericks Safari sandbox Cupertino following the lead of Google, Microsoft, and Mozilla Scared yet, web devs? Google smears malware warnings over PHP.net Four infected pages out of 1,500? That's 4 TOO MANY India tops APAC ransomware table with £2.5 BEELLION losses Norton stats show rich pickings for criminals in the sub-continent Software News Finally! How to make Android USABLE: Install BlackBerry OS 10.2 New upgrade smooths rough edges with 300+ features and tweaks Programmers! How to spot a coder's comment Readers' corner Let's develop this thread The Reg undergoes a Twitter makeover: Come join the squawk A blue bird walked into a bar ... Science News REVEALED: 'COLDEST place in universe' and it's GHOST shaped Pic Warm up in the Big Bang's background radiation after visiting the Boomerang Nebula Oz racehorse shod with 3D-printed titanium hoofwear Custom horseshoes show 'endless possibilities' of additive manufacturing Vulture 2 paintjob: Kim Jong-un battles flag-waving Brits More spaceplane liveries for your viewing pleasure HAD IT with Planet Earth? There are 12 alien worlds left to try out Boffins have now spotted a more than 1,000 exoplanets Bootnotes News Doctor Who's 50th year special: North American theater tix on sale Friday Two dates announced for big-screen 3D presentation Oz Army red-faced after ready ... aim ... FIRE burns suburbs Sir, that FOREST is a threat to NATIONAL SECURITY

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