The Reg: Microsoft holds nose, shoves Windows into Android, iOS boxes [Mon Oct 21 2013]

Daily Headlines 21 October 2013

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Business News Apple's top bean counter: New spaceship HQ won't emit 'one atom of carbon' Vid Cupertino's latest torus attraction to be 'best office building ever built' Billionaire vows to turn 007's Lotus Esprit into actual SUBMARINE CAR Ah, Mr Musk, I've been expecting you AMD avoids a red-ink-stained quarter for once, market says 'meh' Increase in desktop CPU revenue and console boost can't excite Wall Street Data Centre News The web needs globally backed, verifiable security standards – says Huawei The Chinese government ain't the boss of us, telecoms kit giant asserts ... again Avert your eyes! Hortonworks mates Hadoop beast with SAS New pact to mesh the elephant with data giant No plans for Friday night? There's a pile o' Windows Server ISOs feeling lonely New Server 2012 R2, System Center 2012 R2, Intune, Azure Pack and more looking for love Microsoft sharpens blade, slashes high-mem cloud prices in Amazon duel Just how low can Redmond's instances go? DRAM whammed, thank you ma'am: Kaminario K2 flash bests sib at SPC-1 But will it remain king for very long? Windows 8.1 and Server 2012 R2: Our quick start guide for sysadmins Sysadmin blog What do you mean you forgot your key? Hey, how'd that guy get to be a BAZILLIONAIRE? Sysadmin blog A quick guide to the flashcache market Google's latest Brussels self-abuse proposal needs 'concrete tech' MEPs urge serious testing of new SECRET Mountain View offers SanDisk's so busy adding up its dosh, enterprise PCIe cards slip into 2014 Still, estimated full-year sales up a billion dollars, wha-hey! Extreme ultraviolet litho: Extremely late and can't even save Moore's Law SMC Why this is none of your DRAM business Simplivity shows off VDI configs with Nvidia... Doh! VMware, what are you doing here? Upstart looks up, sees established rival doing the very same thing... Hardware News Wait for it, waaiiit for it: We update an Atom tablet to Windows 8.1 Pro Pics Did Microsoft swallow a Jobsian phrasebook? MacBook Air fanbois! Your flash drive may be a data-nuking TIME BOMB Apple whips out tool, rushes to probe suicidal flash drives Google's leaky ship spills new Nexus 5 photos, $349 price tags all over web This just in: Next smartphone like the Nexus 4, only better What the CUFF? Nokia shows how a smartwatch ought to work Video Just waiting for the technology to make it possible Alarming tales: What goes on INSIDE Reg hack's hi-tech bedroom Something for the Weekend, Sir? Wakey, wakey, hands off snakey Beyond: Two Souls - the game that thinks it's a Hollywood blockbuster Review Do the dishes, then save the world? It can only be David Cage’s new sci-fi thriller Sketchy Soho denizens get mitts on London superheroes Pics HP challenge draws animators to pimped-out workstations iPhone 5S autopsy shows WHY it can't tell which end is up – dev How faulty levelling caused Jesus phone to lose its balance Networks News ITU to Europe: One charger for all mobes good. One to rule them ALL? Better Wants to extend micro USB spec to all 'leccy gizmos Twitter will leap into instant-messaging world with new app: report Already testing direct messages between non-followers Policy News NBN review team looks like old Telstra board Reports: former BigPond boss called in Wanna sell a phone in New York? Better have a receipt Proposed law says no bill, no serial numbers, no sale Jury smacks Qualcomm for UNLAWFUL TECH in iPhone, Galaxy chips ParkerVision rubs hands as shareholders sniff half-a-billion-dollar payday Torrent site isoHunt to close Founder fighting on to disprove causal connection between links and piracy Security News America: Land of the free, still home of the BIGGEST spammers on the planet USA! USA! USA! Fiendish CryptoLocker ransomware: Whatever you do, don't PAY Vid Create remote backups before infection, advise infosec bods Got a mobile phone? Then you've got a Trojan problem too This time it’s personal Snowden: 'I have data on EVERY NSA operation against China' New York Times interview sure to interest Beijing Software News Internet Explorer 11 BREAKS Google, Outlook Web Access The Windows 8.1 train wreck rollout continues apace Apple to allow bulk buys of bespoke apps for iThings Volume purchase plan unveiled for corporate and education customers Microsft pulls Win 8.1 RT update after it bricks Surface slabs Surface RT owners will have to blow next weekend on an OS update FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS: Microsoft faces prising XP from Big Biz Even Facebook is still running the 12-year-old OS, but the clock is ticking Windows 8.1: A bit square, sure, but WAIT! It has a Start button Review New features just underline the sins of omission in Windows 8.0 Not so Saucy after all: Ubuntu reveals Mirless Salamander... and what, no Britney? Review Falls back on Plan B, but Plan B is annoying Microsoft holds nose, shoves Windows into Android, iOS boxes New native RDP clients bring Start button to smartmobes and fondleslabs Science News Boffins close in on gravity waves Peering at pulsars produces promising pulling premise Micron tears away cloak to reveal its Gen3 Hybrid Memory Cube SMC 'All-silicon' chunk o' RAM harder to create than bipartisan Congressional comity Forget Wi-Fi, boffins get 150Mbps Li-Fi connection from a lightbulb Many (Chinese) hands make light work Terminator-style robot busts leg in martial arts demo mishap I’ll be back... but not until December Amateur image-wrangler reveals stitched snap of Saturn's splendour Magnificent mosaic from NASA's Cassini shots Last living NEANDERTHALS discovered in JERSEY – boffins Cavemen probably went extinct after the Channel Islands Bootnotes News Japanese pussies slurp 'meow meow' sex wine Pics Nyan Nyan Nouveau - Cabernet juice, catnip and a soupçon of euphemism 'Microsoft Word is a tyrant of the imagination' Quotw Plus: 'Steve Jobs was born in 1955 - WWII ended in 1945. Grrr' Can't hear the sirens? Knobble evildoers with your massive integer New project to help deaf people clobber criminals with BIG data

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