The Reg: Microsoft covers Brit who penetrated Windows 8.1 with GOLD [Thu Oct 10 2013]

Daily Headlines 10 October 2013

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Business News Too busy tweeting to switch TV channels? AT LAST, a solution An END to the intolerable burden of using the remote! Hey, put away that scythe, Death: Pulse found in HP's 2014 financials Whitman's bleach just might be stopping the rot Meg Whitman asks HPers to drag their asses into the office Joins Purple Princess in exposing the PJ-clad to glare of fluorescent light Panasonic throws in towel on plasma tellies, preps for BILLION-dollar kick in pants Strong yen pulling rug from under Japanese tech firm Channel News Brit IT veteran Kelly takes job at investment advisory firm Investors keen on UK tech sector - not doing so badly, eh? Data Centre News TransLattice gobbles StormDB upstart for Postgres threesome Lashes PostgreSQL, -R, and Postgres-XC together for unholy database tryst Microsoft store staff to hold all night vigil for Surface 2 Rapper Pitbull to lead charismatic group prayers for slablet revival IBM checks itself into therapy after touting Frankencloud to the CIA Gobbled SoftLayer mutant tech offered to Uncle Sam's other spooks It's that time again: Sources whisper about NetApp Quantum slurp Comment It could work – just like it could have worked two years ago Tintri unveils VM-aware mutant hybrids and all-in-one array joystick Hip, hip, array... OCZ balances books, files results following 4-year omnishambles New management finally makes sense of financial records Speaking in Tech: Stop ogling my Google Glass, my eyes are up here Podcast Plus: You backronymed a reference architecture to call it 'Tally Ho Mother F$%*er'? HP offers enterprise fatness to small biz bods in bulked-up sales push MSA 2040 'first entry array' with 12gig SAS, 16gig FC, says firm NAND flash chips to beat shrink wrap cash trap with 3D stack Save us from the INCREDIBLE shrinking NAND...and incredibly expensive alternatives Hardware News Trying to run someone over in your next Ford? No dice, it won't let you It's the end of jokes about women parking, too Dear Apple: Want to stay in business? Make an iPhone people can afford You're going to run out of rich folk to keep your sales growth up, predicts analyst Samsung touching up ROUNDED, CURVY plastic-enhanced MODEL World's 'first curved smartphone'... except it isn't Samsung Ativ Book 9 Lite: 13.3-inch slimline notebook with a secret Review Quad-core coyness and a so-so battery life Printing the Future: See a few of UK’s 6.2 million 3D-printed ‘things’ Monitor The Science Museum examines additive manufacturing Networks News BBC announces plans to spend your cash on digital goodies And enlists luvvies to lecture plebs on the joys of coding EU digital tsar 'Steelie' Neelie Kroes: Telcos must adapt to losing roaming cash +Comment With less money you will do more Policy News Azerbaijani election app announced winner before polls even opened Precognition? There's an app for that now Brit inventor Dyson challenges EU ruling on his hoover's energy efficiency ratings Claims dust-free lab tests 'mislead consumers' Thai kids find free tablets hard to swallow as govt scheme hits trouble Report claims 30 PER CENT of devices have broken Plods plonk pull-order on EasyDNS - without a court order City of London Police demand redirection to 'gotcha' page Security News Google to award bounties for fixing non-Google open source code Patch pillars of the internet, earn valuable crumbs vBulletin vuln opens backdoor to rogue accounts The workaround is easy, though MI5 boss: Snowden leaks of GCHQ methods HELPED TERRORISTS And denies it snoops on world+dog. That's alright then Microsoft covers Brit who penetrated Windows 8.1 with GOLD A thin sheet of gold, anyway, worth $100k Happy 10th b-day, Patch Tuesday: TWO critical IE 0-day bugs, did you say? A decade on, Microsoft pushes out 8 bulletins – half of 'em critical bug squishes Japan needs 80,000 EXTRA info-security bods to stay safe Chronic shortage of 'outstanding manpower' in the Far East Software News Nokia tears devs' hearts out, shutters Symbian and Meego stores early Open until 2016? Nah, we actually meant early 2014 End of Window XP and IE6: When, where ... HOW? Live Chat Speak your brains, pick ours: Trio of migration experts line up Digia gives Android and iOS devs a chance to get Qt One library to rule at least 14 of them Science News SOLAR SECRETS of WSC winner team Nuon World Solar Challenge Reflecting on solar module design Nuon on the brink of another World Solar Challenge win World Solar Challenge Updated: Tokai suffers rain delay Rumoured rain can't dampen sun-racers' spirits World Solar Challenge Don't fall down that mineshaaaaaaaft! 'Computer GEEKS' bag NOBEL Prize for chemistry - without using chemicals Balls and sticks? Bubbling beakers? Old hat Canuck truck stuck in muck World Solar Challenge EXCLUSIVE Team Blue Sky falls foul of 100 km/h hot wind Bootnotes News Be prepared... to give heathens a badge: UK Scouts open doors to unbelievers 'Duty to God' dropped from promise

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