The Reg: Tat bazaar eBay takes a rest for 'scheduled maintenance', goes offline [Mon Aug 26 2013]

Daily Headlines 26 August 2013

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Business News Top 10 Steve Ballmer quotes: '%#&@!!' and so much more The Monkey Boy rap dance? It's in there! Jack Ma and clique aim to retain control at Alibaba after IPO Just give us the money, we know what we're doing BILLION DOLLAR BALLMER: Microsoft chief makes $1bn simply by quitting Hmm, what could I do to boost the value of my stock portfolio? Ballmer's emotional farewell to Redmond: I LOVE THIS COMPANY 'I look forward to continuing as one of Microsoft’s largest owners' Heh heh 'Silent' staff stood by as £100m BBC IT project tanked – DG Hang on. They DID speak up... BALLMER TO RETIRE FROM MICROSOFT Final Ballmerism: 'There's never a perfect time, but now is the right time' Dell nemesis Icahn offers Apple's Tim Cook slap-up grub in share buy bid Billionaire hopes to wine and dine iPad chief into boosting stock buyback payday Tat bazaar eBay takes a rest for 'scheduled maintenance', goes offline Company sez soz Indian IT exporters coin windfall profits as rupee plunges Now's the time to renegotiate outsourcing and offshoring deals Channel News Looking to sell the cloud? You're going to need references Comment Transformation standardisation Cloud News VMware's Project Zombie gives dumb servers BRAAAAINS Virtualization company reveals 'special sauce' for upcoming cloud Data Centre News Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns... Episode 7 What's that, Boss? Speak up, would you? Hardware News Ten top new games for phones ’n’ slabs Product Round-up August Bank holiday weekend time-wasters Google plonks down cash for Foxconn's head-mounted display patents 'Our Glass division will have those, thank you' Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Blacklist... Spy HARDER Game Theory Plus – more spooks in XCOM Declassified Acorn’s would-be ZX Spectrum killer, the Electron, is 30 Archaeologic The story of the BBC Micro Junior Networks News Good Tech: Windows is as secure as a rooted Android mobe Is the mobile really less secure? Amazon spaffs MYSTERY private Wi-Fi waves all over Apple's orchard Web bazaar taunts Cupertino with secret radio tests Holiday HELL: Pourquoi, monsieur, why is there no merdique Wi-Fi here? Something for the Weekend, Sir? Sun, sand but no SSIDs Google testing 'Helpouts' video support service Chocolate Factory may have cooked new way for consultants to turn a quid China's Baidu builds new type of App Store 'Light App' framework loads web apps onto smartmobes Policy News EFF, Lessig battling copyright takedowns Oz record company's DCMA notice in cross-hairs Guardian teams up with New York Times for future Snowden GCHQ coverage But 'I never spoke to The Independent,' Snowden says Silicon Valley slurped millions of NSA cash for PRISM participation Court documents show first details of your tax dollars at work US court: Dell can't hound debtor with robocalls to her mobile Automated pay-up calls banned by appeals court Security News PayPal fixes critical account switcheroo bug after researcher tipoff All your account are belong to us Russian spyboss brands Tor a crook's paradise, demands a total ban Anti-child-abuse campaign sparks push to outlaw anonymising network Report: Secret British spy base in Middle East taps region's internet 'Security services hook tentacles into underseas fibre optic cables' Germany warns: You just CAN'T TRUST some Windows 8 PCs Microsoft: You can still buy an 'insecure' Win 8 machine sans TPM chip Boffins use HOT maths MODELS to predict spam of the future Experts build spam filters using game theory Site News Win a top of the range Ultrabook with HP and The Register Promo And learn stuff at HP's 'Power to Change' virtual event Software News The 'third era' of app development will be fast, simple, and compact Hot Chips Will Intel and Nvidia join the HSA party, or insist on going it alone? Ubuntu Edge Linux mobe: 'Made you look,' crows Shuttleworth Um Bongo boss looks on bright side of $32m fundraising flop Science News Rasp Pi skydive: Ballsy Baumgartner best beware Brit bionic Babbage Bear Pics SATURDAY: 'Ted Bull' mascot stuffed with electronics in 39,000m plunge bid Plucky ISS 'nauts manage to bodge tricky camera gizmo onto podule IN SPACE Pic Ha ha, trusty Orlan suits don't fill up with water. See our flag! Our Vulture 2 spaceplane sprouts sleek pointy beak LOHAN's nose job lands at 3D printers BILLION-TONNE BELCH emitted from Sun to hit Earth this weekend Polar solar storm could set a few oscilloscopes a-wriggling at high latitudes Bootnotes News 'You've had your fun. Now we want the stuff back' Quotw Plus: 'Google will only play or pay on their home turf'

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