The Reg: Microsoft's Surface sales figures are in, and they're ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS [Wed Jul 31 2013]

Daily Headlines 31 July 2013

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Business News Disney finds new way to give movies depth 2D pic to 3D background tech came too late for 'The Lone Ranger' Red ink not as deep as expected for Fujitsu in Q1 Systems integration, networking, and weakened yen save the day Dragon's Den Jones' etail biz Expansys back in the red Reports £18.8m loss as retail sales dive, one-off costs soar Data analytics nears adulthood but has it grown up yet? Here's how things work in the real world... Bank of Thailand bans Bitcoin Buying and selling Bitcoin banned, mining them still okay Cloud News OpenStack 'will be derailed' if it mimics AWS, bellows Scoble Rackspace mouthpiece demands OpenStack become 'innovation competitor' Dutch banks get nod to inhale Amazon cloud All of a country's fortune floating in the aether – what could possibly go wrong? Alcatel-Lucent takes Qualcomm coin for personal 4G network tech Chips lined up for future Small Cells Typical! Google's wonder-dongle is a solution looking for a problem Analysis Where's the CONTENT? Data Centre News Big Blue beats path to Australia's north-west Plus: new cable mooted to land near Pilbara IBM expands Penguin-loving Power server lineup Pre-emptive four-socket Power7+ Linux strike ahead of Intel Xeon E7 assault Cisco and NetApp engage in light consensual FlexPoddery Channel laps up new storage design templates All-flash Hitachi array grabs silver in benchmark race - by a whisker Still utterly outpaced by all-RAM monster in pole position Emulex rustles up a Mulligan for its hungry network gumble floggers New ops bigwig worked for arch-rival QLogic QLogic's save-the-biz pitch: Ditch the switch glitch - get rich Server adapter firm to focus on, er, server adapters... MS brandishes 'Katana' HTTP/2.0 server Redmond brings its next-generation web server out to play Hardware News Intel's homage to Raspberry Pi, the Minnowboard open source PC As you'd expect, much more expensive Is Samsung CHEATING in Galaxy benchmark tests? Sure looks like it What's this lipstick-stained 'BenchmarkBooster' we found in your system file, Sammy? Microsoft's Surface sales figures are in, and they're ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS Wrote down more inventory charges than it took in revenue Lingering fingerprint fingering fingered in iOS 7 phone string fling Biometric clue stashed in latest Cupertino beta AMD's newest chip: Another step toward 'transformation' Server chips aren't all the AMD-ARM partnership will bring to the data center China Labor Watch gumshoes uncover TOP SECRET PLASTIC IPHONE How long did you wor- OHMYHEAVENS new iPhone! PEAK APPLE: iPad market share hits the skids Ghost of Jobs weeps as titan's legacy crumbles Selfridges dreaming of a snot-themed Christmas Smock'n'frock shop in pop-up mock stock shock Magic Quadrant for enterprise backup and recovery Gartner published this report to help organizations navigate the myriad of solutions available to address their backup and recovery needs. Download now Networks News UK economy to lose £198m if BBC and pals lose EPG slots - Ministry of Fun Wants laws protecting Brit media makers' special place BT's new broom turns out to be carving knife: Retail wing sliced in half Two-headed beast sent into 'four-way tussle with Sky, Virgin and TalkTalk' Policy News MIT clears itself of responsibility for Aaron Swartz's prosecution Father says the university failed its 'moral obligation' to his son IT pricing inquiry sparks Game of Thrones for rights-holders It's time to revisit Australia's siphoning laws Wikileaker Bradley Manning found not guilty of 'aiding the enemy' Still facing over a century in military prison Plods probe death threat tweets to MP - but WHO will rid us of terrible trolls? +Comment Have a word with their mothers Jurors start stretch in the cooler for Facebooking, Googling the accused 'Always wanted to f**k up a paedo, now I’m within the law!' Guess again, sonny Exposed: RSPCA drills into cops' databases, harvests private info Exclusive Animal charity gets its paws on police data - and nobody appears to be watching Irish watchdog won't probe Apple, Facebook over PRISM... but COULD IT? Analysis Yes, and it SHOULD, says information law specialist Crumbs, we're going to lose that public sector bid - Jeeves, send for the lawyers Hyper-competitive businesses file ever more complaints Microsoft to Google: Please remove us from internet Automated sueball generator mistakenly requests takedown of Microsoft.com pages Security News Cyber jihad as Indonesia and Bangladesh BLOW EACH OTHER off the web Hackers bring down hundreds of websites UK the 'number 1 target' of online gangsters in 25 countries - e-crime report +Comment Cyber crime: It's like 'NUCLEAR WAR'... Wikileaker Bradley Manning's court martial verdict expected today Army private faces life in prison for 'aiding the enemy' Syrian Electronic Army hijack Reuters' Twitter feed Pro-Assad hacktivists fail to crack White House website Russia's post-Snowden spooks have not reverted to type Typewriter tender reveals FSO wants ribbons for old machines, not just new kit Software News Microsoft adds Visual-Studio-like text editor to SkyDrive Word Web app gains syntax highlighting tools and ability to read code files Microsoft lobs second Windows 8.1 preview at enterprise IT admins Lock down those Start screens! Oracle deploys lawyers against Solaris fix-it duo More allegations of third parties pinching Ellison & Co's code Microsoft Exchange: To host or not to host Webcast Cloud, control or both? Science News CSIRO, Macquarie University, on helium-saving crusade Voice-altering fun soon to be available with recycled gas Japanese boffins build 'robotic skin' Bendy circuits thinner than cling film Bootnotes News Robot cop called in after MAD BONGER blown up in LIQUID MARIJUANA EXPLOSION Dopey Colorado man gets baked Magic Quadrant for enterprise backup and recovery Gartner published this report to help organizations navigate the myriad of solutions available to address their backup and recovery needs. Download now

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