The Reg: 100% driverless Wonka-wagon cars? Google, you're having a laugh [Fri May 30 2014]

Daily Headlines 30 May 2014

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	Securing technologies for mobile and BYOD Security and IT departments must ensure that the business is protected against all new mobile security threats. Download here >

Business News NICTA offshoot snags $AU10M in sale Unitrends snags AWS backup specialist Yuruware Ballmer slam-dunks Ellison to become new owner of LA Clippers If embattled owner Donald Sterling wants his $2bn, that is Google's driverless car: It'll just block our roads and make life WORSE Comment All that guff about reducing congestion and so on – yeah, it's total cobblers How to strip pesky copyright watermarks from photos ... says a FACEBOOK photo bod Engineer kills step-by-step instructions to steal pics online London officials declare cabbie-bothering Uber is legal – for now TfL reckons app doesn't qualify as taximeter, but wants to get the High Court on the case 100% driverless Wonka-wagon cars? Google, you're having a laugh Comment Self-driving motor utopia still some way off About to make a big bet? Don't crash out, cash in with the power of maths Big Data's Big 5 From biz changes to Monte Carlo, probabilities of risk explained Channel News Accounts probe stings IT distie giant Tech Data on the bottom line Box slinger keeps its head above the red line in Q1 2015 Watchdog puts UK gov IT on RED alert. Yes, that's a bad thing G-Cloud shopping catalogue gets amber/red status ... Colour us shocked Azzurri exec set have a brand new CEO: Former BT bigster Chris Jagusz Starts after the summer Data Centre News Cloud Foundry Foundation swells to thirty-three members Docker, Blue Box, MongoDB, and others fling gold into Pivotal's open source baby Confirmed: Salesforce partners with 'evil empire' Microsoft Benioff and Nadella hold hands, weave MicroForce-SalesSoft tapestry Microsoft, Salesforce thump table in cloud tie-up talks – report 'Evil empire' changes its CEO, gets friendlier, it seems Will IBM System x sink without trace before Lenovo can grab the helm? Server market doom plunge slows, but Big Blue's doesn't Atlantis hopes to sink fangs into EMC's ViPR with rival product ILIO to compete with VMware on VDI Seagate in surprise $450m LSI Flash gobble Will they, won't th - oh wait, yes they will BLAM! IBM drags its NetApp OEM deal horse outside, gunshot heard So long, and thanks for all the fish Loved-up shared storage silos in SHOCK SPLIT! Blocks and Files Good news or bad news? Depends if you're a channel bod... The cloud's between your ears, not in your data centre Adopting hyperscale tech needs disposable servers and the courage to toss them Hardware News Panasonic pulls pyromaniac batteries Fires prompt recall Could a 'Zunewatch' be Microsoft's next hardware foray? Redmond tipped for possible smartwatch unveiling this year Intel unveils kit to speed evolution of digital driving Auto autonomy is inevitable, and Chipzilla wants to help hasten its arrival Clingy fondleslab owners TORPEDO industry forecasts Slower than expected refresh rate makes analysts rethink yearly tablet-sales outlook Valve says no Steam Machines until 2015, fingers crossed Gaming hardware delayed to iron out controller bugs The iPhone of the future will know you BY YOUR EARS Apple looks at system to detect multiple listeners via earbud sensors Prize draw: Win a Nokia Lumia 630! Promo Open to all registrants for Microsoft mobile virtual event ProDesk colour 3D printer's secret: It gives hot models great head Hands on Squirting nozzle performs in five-way session for Reg hack Samsung wants to 'thingify' your BODY with Simband Think Dick Tracey meets Trekkie Securing technologies for mobile and BYOD Security and IT departments must ensure that the business is protected against all new mobile security threats. Download here > Policy News Snowden never blew a whistle, US spy boss claims Those red-flag emails he claims NSA has? Nope, can't find 'em MH370 'pings' dismissed as false positives Updated Search zone abandoned Security News For your next privacy panic, look no further than vending machines SMILE! You're on candid Coke-cam! No. Make that coffee-cam. Or surveillance cam? TrueCrypt turmoil latest: Bruce Schneier reveals what he'll use instead Plus other alternatives and theories behind disk-crypto util's demise Cyber crims smash through Windows into the great beyond How malware became a multi-platform game SAP NetWeaver flaw spews user tables Patch issued but Ruskies keep details under wraps Kid crims don't need to skim: Paywave cards lead fraud rise Fraud experts disagree: Tap'n'go won't get cash for a stash Software News 'Hello? Hello? Yes, I'm calling you on my WEB BROWSER' Mozilla plans plugin-free in-browser video chat for Firefox Linux Foundation flings two full-time developers at OpenSSL Crack anti-Heartbleed team sent in to patch critical tech Sacre BLEURGH: Google thinks London's Victoria station is on the PARIS Metro Master scraper rebrands Blighty's beloved Tube roundel Developers: Your chance to get hands on with Microsoft Azure Promo Fancy a work-related day out in London? Watch this: A webinar about classic GUI design patterns Vid A way of describing things that just work Science News Welcome to the ISS. Don't mention Ukraine if you ever want to leave Vid So, comrade, who do you favour in the Virginia Slims tournament? How about printing your electricity? Danish boffins print fuel cells from HP 1000 Jade Rabbit nearly out of hop Wheels, insulation no longer working Bootnotes News Rich bitch sorority girls actually more likely to put out than low-class 'sluts': Study Who says sociology isn't a serious subject? Securing technologies for mobile and BYOD Security and IT departments must ensure that the business is protected against all new mobile security threats. Download here >

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