The Reg: Apple marks '1984' anniversary with iPhone-produced un-commercial [Tue Feb 4 2014]

Daily Headlines 4 February 2014

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Business News Dejected NFL fans seek smut after Super Bowl blowout With game in hand, viewers sought alternative entertainment HP UK: meeting unions over staff redundancy plans But hey people, we are also offering, er, reskilling, redeployment... HP: Autonomy overstated 2010 profits by 81 PER CENT Former Autonomists deny claim, say HP's audit cooks the books HPCaaS experiment becomes commercial service UberCloud Marketplace goes live Optus to take control of NBN Co satellites Wins five-year telemetry, tracking and control contract Bill Gates to pull a Steve Jobs and SAVE MICROSOFT – report Will step down as chairman to get hands-on with products Microsoft claims victory over second-hand software broker Discount-Licensing ignored copyright regs, says MS legal eagle Apple marks '1984' anniversary with iPhone-produced un-commercial No Super Bowl rehash as company marks Mac milestone Ker-ching...Er, ZZZWIP: Square-alike mobile swipe type scores $96m British Bluetooth gizmo startup pushes card-slurper for tiny biz Sync'n'share firm Box secretly files for IPO Dropbox-style offering possibly worth up to $2bn Apple seeks patent for mood-sensing technology Cupertino trying to satisfy all of the people, all of the time (especially advertisers) Channel News 'Eventful but positive' year for RM as it quits the PC-making world By the way, there might be a 50% crash in sales later on. Just so you know Cabinet Office admits it was forced to extend tech procurement rig No alternative to CITHS framework ready to roll, no options, no clue Only the Chinese can save us now, trill server vendors Global sales rise despite 9th quarter of EMEA declines. HP heads the pack Why IBM's server sell-off is a lightbulb moment How would you power a data centre 10 years from now? Data Centre News Heroku adds Big Gulp 'XL' option to cloud menu Salesforce-backed cloud boosts capabilities, but keeps prices high Dell disputes 15k layoff figure: Only a few staffers accepted 'voluntary separations' Spokesman still won't give us a number Buyout... WHAT buyout? Violin Memory appoints new CEO Former angel investor picks up the Violin bow NetApp to fling out new FAS array BUSINESS BEAST – source Exclusive Firm won't comment on 'FAS8000' Cisco execs blindside themselves with flash-splash Invicta UCS array Blocks and Files Pity the poor techie who had to explain it to them Private pain: Dell layoff bloodbath to hit over 15,000 staffers – insiders Updated Downsized depts told to chop ADDITIONAL 15% - source Hardware News US feds want cars conversing by 2017 A few privacy, security wrinkles to iron out before collision-avoidance tech saves your life Bletchley Park spat 'halts work on rare German cipher machine' Trust denies claims that priceless working Lorenz device left unmaintained... Elite Systems pulls ZX Spectrum games after deluge of 'unpaid royalties' complaints 'A personally chastening experience,' says boss Wilcox This THREESOME is a HANDFUL: It’s the Asus Transformer Book Trio Review Android tablet plus Windows laptop... plus Windows desktop Cointerra promises free, specced-up boxen for late shipments of first gen miners First-ever over-1TH/s Bitcoin miner shipped Key Considerations for your Platform as a Service Strategy PaaS Executive Checklist: PaaS offers many benefits and choosing the right PaaS is key to getting those benefits, so make sure you have considered everything. Download here > Policy News Democrats introduce net neutrality legislation in Senate and House Open Internet Preservation Act would halt website pricing FCC doubles school broadband fund with $2bn boost Campaign will aim to link up 15,000 schools Cupertino copied processor pipelining claims Wisconsin U Patent complaint against A7 chip Google opens up data on secret data collection orders Updated Yahoo! and Facebook spill the beans, too Plaintiffs: 'Hey judge! Soak Apple for $840m in ebook price-fixing suit' Damages are $280m, they say, but should be tripled because case was 'conclusively proven' Twitter avoids IP face-off with Big Blue, will buy 900 IBM patents Joins mega-patent-having tech titan club, will cross-license too NHS website hit by MASSIVE malware security COCKUP Updated 'Internal coding error' at fault... Security News Gameover ZeuS adds nasty trick Crypto to slip through firewalls Hacktivists dish out DNS hijack to PayPal, eBay Syrian Electronic Army take on tat biz overlords Pr0n-optimised Icepol Trojan's servers seized by Romanian cops Police impound servers and neutralise threat - for now NSA, GCHQ, accused of hacking Belgian smartcard crypto guru Spear phishing through LinkedIn did for Professor Jean-Jacques Quisquater Unmanned, autonomous ROBOT TRUCK CONVOY 'drives though town' US Army droid teamsters 'avoid pedestrians' without trouble Software News Dead Kim Jong-il's OS makeover takes a page from Dead Steve Jobs New glorious people's UI brings fruity flavor to NORKS PCs Nvidia slips love letter to open source driver devs Even Linus Torvalds is happy Google waves its Chromecast dongle in front of developers SDK now open to world+dog – but follow the rules, peasant, or risk being cast into the pit Science News Boffins tell ALIEN twin-sunned planets: You're adopted Actually spawned by OTHER parent stars 'far, far away' Chaps propose free global WiFi delivered FROM SPAAAACE 'Outernet' plan would use cubesats to beam MOOCs and Wikipedia to the world Key Considerations for your Platform as a Service Strategy PaaS Executive Checklist: PaaS offers many benefits and choosing the right PaaS is key to getting those benefits, so make sure you have considered everything. 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